I was having an awesome time being a walker at scout camp this week. I love being outdoors,working with the boys, and being involved with the BSA. It's been great. I don't even mind having to be there every day, which they require for the tiger cubs. In fact I'll probably walk every day next year too.
Then Nate threw up in the car on the way to camp today. Ugh. We dropped off his brother and came home, and I started to resume my normal morning. Then I realized something: I'm depressed.
I couldn't put my finger on it at first. I was more upset than the boy. But then I realized that I love being busy, I love being outdoors, and I love being around people. Especially the great folks I meet in scouting. When I sit in my house I get none of that. And yes I have a lot to do around here, but in recent months I've pretty much blown it all off, spending my days online instead. Something subtle is happening in our family, the almost imperceptible growth of my boys. They still need me, but not nearly as much. The truth is, I need to find something to do.
Now, I don't want to go back to the 8-5 thing. This week, while awesome, is also exhausting. We all arrive home grouchy at 6pm and nobody wants to cook dinner and we bicker until we fall into bed at nine. Plus the house is kind of a wreck, which I'm not totally used to either. However I have talents like everyone else and it's time to dust them off!
It's tempting to just throw myself into the kids' activities. While I have no intention of easing up in my involvement, I also see the pitfall: what do you do when your kid no longer wants to do that activity? If all your friends are baseball moms or you are passionate about being the den leader, that will makes lot of friction when your kid wants to do something new. It's a lot to think about.
Anyway, my little guy is on the couch sipping 7-up and watching something about rockets. I leave you with the little sunfish he caught yesterday :-)